Archive for the ‘Maledictions’ Category

Playing the Piety Card Yet Again

So…a secular attack on religion is what’s wrong with us. This from Donald Trump’s latest bagman/consigliere, William Barr. I’d love to be able to say with a straight face that God is not mocked, but I’m well aware that every time one of these pious hypocrites’ bosses gets caught with his hand in the cookie […]

Punishments To Fit the Crime

Donald Trump: Strip him of his iPhone, his Secret Service protection and all his assets. Dress him in overalls and a court-mandated ankle bracelet. Give him a bible, a bullhorn, and a family-size bottle of Oxycontin. Order him to remain within the city limits of Bluefield, West Virginia for the rest of his life. John […]

21st Century Character Studies, Part II

It’s not that Mark Zuckerberg, Travis Kalanick, or Jack Dorsey are unscrupulous; it’s that they don’t seem to have any idea what scruples are.

Okay, Never Mind Decency. Have You No Sense of Irony?

A question for Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, and all the rest of the Confederate flotsam and jetsam clinging to the present occupant of the White House: The White House, that supposedly august parsonage of liberty’s American church, was built by black slaves. Do you really think you can make us forget that?

Presidential Appointees (In No Particular Order)

Jeff Sessions: Looks like Alfred E. Neuman, thinks like John C. Calhoun. Steve Bannon: What stupid people think a smart person ought to sound like. Betsy DeVos: A government-run education system will never be able to produce the amount of ignorance this country needs. Jared Kushner: Once you grab the right one, hang on. Mike […]

Okay. One More and Then We’re Done (I Hope)

Santorum: Any country which can name a nuclear attack submarine the Corpus Christi can probably reconcile itself to the Sanctum Santorum. Non-Catholics, as always, will shake their heads in disbelief, but who cares about them?

Yet Another Republican Alternative

Gingrich: Dorian Gray.

The Republican Alternatives

Bachmann: Why can’t somebody as ignorant as me make a good President? Think about it. Perry: I’ve always liked tearing the wings off flies, and setting fire to cats. I’m exactly what America needs right now. Romney: I only used to be somebody. Now I’m just like you, so it’s okay to go ahead and vote […]

Mortem Confundit Magus*

Businessmen say going forward instead of in the future. Our Secretary of State says that Muammar al-Qaddafi must acknowledge what the International Community requires of him. A respected liberal economist, defending the necessity of nuclear power plants, remarks that it’s unlikely that the Chernobyl accident produced more than 50,000 excess deaths world-wide. He seems to take […]

Saved from the American Conflagration

To be placed in a shrine impervious to Russell Pearce and his bilious followers…. The Declaration of Independence Except for the abused people referred to as …inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages…, and the people transported here against their will from their homes in Africa, and kept in cruel and abject bondage for […]