The Evolution of Noblesse Oblige

Andrew Carnegie:

We’ll buy a lot of books, and build a lot of places where working people can go and read them. This will help them better themselves, and in the process provide a more civilized future for all of us.

Bill Gates:

The country is not producing enough of the kind of people we’ll need for the future we’re creating. Beneficial change will require us to seize control of the school curriculum from clueless education experts and teacher’s union officials — an annoying, but essentially trivial task. First, we’ll buy their compliance. Then, if necessary, we’ll buy their gratitude.

Can it really be this simple? Probably not. Still, if you have kids, this might be a good time to take more seriously your own contribution to the world they’re going to be living in.

Presidential Appointees (In No Particular Order)

Jeff Sessions: Looks like Alfred E. Neuman, thinks like John C. Calhoun.

Steve Bannon: What stupid people think a smart person ought to sound like.

Betsy DeVos: A government-run education system will never be able to produce the amount of ignorance this country needs.

Jared Kushner: Once you grab the right one, hang on.

Mike Pence: The Taliban had some good ideas.

Michael Flynn: Die Politik ist eine bloße Fortsetzung des Krieges mit anderen Mitteln.

Andrew Puzder: You do want fries with that.

Rex Tillerson: Extreme unction.

Reince Priebus: Not being careful what you wish for has consequences.

Neil Gorsuch: There are only two crimes — existence, which is a misdemeanor, and presence, which is a felony.

Tom Price: Don’t get sick. If you do, die quickly.

Scott Pruitt: The cabin doesn’t leak when it doesn’t rain.

Ben Carson: You have too many neurons. I can help you with that.