If you aspire to rule as a latter-day Caligula, you should probably pay a lot more attention to your latter-day Praetorian Guard. Did you see the video of that very large bodyguard watching Elon do his drunken frat-boy fork and spoon trick at a recent Trumpfest? If the country finally tires of our ruling monsters, it won’t matter how many of us leftie riff-raff they’ve deported or disappeared. The sound of gladii being sharpened in the White House basement must be deafening these days—if, of course, you have the ears to hear it.
One would think a fancy $1 million-per-seat dinner could afford better entertainment. Then again, I can’t imagine a more appropriate audience for his bullshit and shenanigans than what roosts on that particular shoreline of Florida.
On this April Fools’ Day, 2025, is it just me, or are there really a lot more fools than usual surrounding us? Distressingly humorless, though, most of them—more like Stephen King’s clowns than Clarabell, Bozo, or even Ronald McDonald. As for Mar-a-Lago, surely there’s some future category 5 in the offing. It’d be even nicer if it happened to be named Hillary, Kamala, or maybe Clytemnestra. In any event, it’d certainly serve the orange SOB right. I might even be persuaded to book a flight to Miami just to sow salt over the ruins—assuming I live long enough.
I had to spend most of my day offline because I couldn’t stand the idea that most of what I would read would NOT be an April Fool’s joke. The schadenfreudian in me almost yearns for that Cat 5 – or something similar to vex the godbotherers in his train who are always pointing at OTHER “sinners” as causes – but the more patient part of me knows that his little piece of the Florida coastline will be under water and nearly completely valueless within his grandchildren’s lifetimes, if not far sooner.
I had to go find the video and watch it having blissfully missed any reference before now. LOL. Musk **aspires** to drunk frat boy. The drunk frat boys I knew back in the day would have been no more impressed than the bodyguard (if that’s what he was). I wonder how many similar self-stimming events that human has to watch on a routine basis? I’d be mad as a hatter within days. Maybe some day one of them will write a book. Hope it runs right to the top of a best seller list with movie rights. It’s the least that person is owed for bearing witness on the regular.
I watched it twice. The first time for the ‘bodyguard’s’ reaction, the second time to just watch Musk and, to be honest, it looked like the same kind of zone out he experienced at the inauguration. He looked like he was trippin’ balls. Reminded me of when my BIL got me stoned while we were visiting them in Melbourne, AU on our honeymoon. I, of course, at least had the manners to spend my evening staring at the lovely patterns that were swirling on his walls instead of turning his silverware into mobiles for adult children.
Oh, lordy. How I do remember that universe-in-a-grain-of-sand experience. First time I had it wasn’t on acid, though. A friend of mine who left school to become a grower in Mendocino County showed up a year later out of the blue. He reported he’d become a millionaire, but was quitting the biz because the peaceful hippies were being driven out by armed claim jumpers, and “I don’t do guns, man.”
To celebrate his return, and his new financial status, we shared a cigar-sized spliff made from his final crop. It seemed I’d missed the revolution in dope cultivation that had taken place while I’d been entering the bourgeois workforce, and that was probably the strongest cannabis I’d ever encountered, stronger than the strongest middle eastern hash. Apart from the pretty colors, and the intensely macro focus on miniscule objects, it was probably akin to having temporary aphasia. Needless to say, it was the last time I ever went near anything that promised to be psychedelic.
Oh, this wasn’t acid – I guess my reference to Musk should have been more ketamine focused but I don’t know the current drug experience references, so dug into the old ones – it was some high-powered pot his brother grew to supplement a musician’s income. And it wasn’t even bud! It was just some leaves he’d pruned off and dried while tending the plants a ew days before we arrived. Needless to say, I stayed the hell away from it the rest of the trip because I wanted to know that the tiny penguins we saw at Phillip Island were real and not just imaginary! As wild as that empty wall got, staring at the ocean might have consumed the rest of a 3 week trip and the flights were such a nightmare I didn’t want anything else to be problematic. :-}
There was definitely a difference in the THC content of what he was growing and what was accessible here at the time and it didn’t help that I’ve always been a low-weight contender in that realm anyhow. Given that he’s my husband’s twin, and that they immediately fell down the ingrained well of sibling rivalry involving hours of video games for most of that first night, it wasn’t a bad way to spend my own time, but I knew it couldn’t become a habit or I wouldn’t be able to trust my memories of our honeymoon. I do, however, still recall with crystal clarity him telling us over breakfast the next morning that the bedroom we were using wasn’t spider proof … like his and Wendy’s. Slept a LOT less soundly the next night. Good times.
Great story! And my lord, those aussie spiders are no joke. Their snakes and cane toads don’t seem to be either. AZ isn’t as bad in terms of sudden death critters, but we do joke that all the flora here have thorns and all the fauna are poisonous. Not completely true, but it sure seems that way sometimes to a CA seashore expatriate.
The only saving grace – and the thing we sometimes chanted to ourselves, depending on the circumstances – was: People have stayed alive here for centuries.”
Other than one close call where I slipped after leaping from one boulder to the next in a big stream in the mountains, we were fine. But I do recall doing more research on things like box jellyfish once we got home and thinking that maybe swimming – even INSIDE one of the ocean enclosures they rolled out – during that season wasn’t such a good idea in retrospect. We also figured that we’d be ok if there were some anti e Aussies in the vicinity engaging in whatever activity we were exploring. Of course, I neglected to take into account the fact that the young are often not impressed with the many things around them that could cause sudden and horrible premature death. Lessons learned …