I’ve made an interesting, if not altogether surprising discovery in watching YouTube snippets of Jack Smith’s torment in the Senate Judiciary Committee’s latest kangaroo court proceedings. It seems that Josh Hawley isn’t just a weasel, but is also, along with John Kennedy (the Dixie John Kennedy), a tireless purveyor of professional grade stupidity. Such people should not exist, although the wise person does have to make allowances for living in a universe which seems to find our entire species faintly ridiculous.
Weasels, Chickenshits, and Assholes
After Tomorrow….
If the polls are right this Monday morning, it’s probably time for Donald Trump to start thinking about where he can go in a couple of years, assuming he lives long enough to go anywhere but Hell.
Europeans won’t let him in, and he hates them anyway. Putin will drop him like the used tissue that he is, so Russia is out. How about where Idi Amin went? I’m sure that with his son-in-law Jared smoothing the way, the Saudis would let him spend a bit of what he’s stolen from us to build a Mar-a-Lago replica in the sand somewhere outside Riyadh. (It is kinda like Hell, Arabia Deserta, right? Hell with the fire out, so to speak.) And if Jared proves up to the task of negotiating just one more fabulous deal, I’m sure Satan won’t mind waiting a bit longer for the Donald and his gilded hotel blueprints to make their way to the real place.
Lest We Forget
The Congress of Ratfuckers
Not Technically Treason
Despite the understandable hysteria on the center left, Donald Trump’s geopolitical betrayals are not treason. The U.S. isn’t actually at war with any of the greasy dictators that he’s put us all at risk to curry favor with, so technically they aren’t enemies. Even though he’s giving aid and comfort to them, and definitely deserves to be put somewhere where he can’t contribute to the torture of innocents, he doesn’t actually seem to be at risk of being marched out of the White House at gunpoint by the forces of an irate U.S. general staff. (After Hegseth’s purges of any general officer with more than two neurons, a military coup has never seemed all that likely anyway, no matter what Trump and his dumbfuckery end up costing us.) This is a mixed blessing even for those of us who, in our allegiance to the U.S. Constitution, have always held the principle of civilian control of the military to be sacred.
I, for one, will hold to my principles, but I’ll also say that for the first time in my life, the shame of being a citizen of the United States of America, a country that elected Donald Trump twice, is overwhelming. Redemption is still possible, I suppose, but at this point I’d rate the possibility of it coming in my lifetime as slim to none.
Progress on Donald Trump’s Bucket List
√ War Crimes and Crimes Against Humanity:
Ordered a February 28, 2026 airstrike on the Shajareh Tayyebeh school in Minab, Iran, killing at least 156 people. The victims included 120 children, 26 female teachers, and several parents who had come to the school. The fatalities also included a pregnant teacher and a six-month-old fetus.
Ordered aerial attacks on a number of unnamed Venezuelan fishing boats, killing their crews. Pilots of attacking aircraft were reportedly ordered by the Secretary of Defense to fire on any survivors of the initial bombing runs on their vessels as they struggled to stay afloat in the water, insuring that no one survived the US assault.
√ Murder:
Alex Pretti, Renee Nicole Good, Geraldo Lunas Campos, Silverio Villegas González, Keith Porter Jr., Lorenzo Salgado Araujo, Joan Sebastian Guerrero, Mario Bass—all murdered at the hands of ICE, or while they were being held in its custody.
√ Sexual Assault/Rape:
E. Jean Carroll. (Also, whatever is in the Epstein files, if the Republican Party ever allows them to be seen in their entirety by ordinary mortals.)
√ Kidnapping and False Imprisonment:
Kilmar Abrego Garcia, Andry José Hernández Romero, Leonardo José Colmenares Solórzano, Jefferson José Laya Freites, Arturo Suárez Trejo, Anyelo José Sarabia González, Jerce Reyes Barrios, Frengel Reyes Mota, José Manuel Ramos Bastidas, Albert Jesús Rodríguez Parra, Maikol Gabriel López Lizano. All were placed in restraints without due process and transported by air to El Salvador, where they were handed over to the tender mercies of the wardens of CECOT (El Centro de Confinamiento del Terrorismo).
√ Theft:
SSSI and Derco Settlement. Gen Digital Inc. False Claims Settlement. AECOM Hurricane Katrina Relief Settlement. Magnolia Diagnostics False Claims Act Settlement. Broadway Electric Inc. Settlement.
√Fraud:
Judged culpable, civil case of falsifying business records (34 counts) May, 2024. Judged culpable, civil business fraud, New York, February, 2024.
√ Bribery, Extortion, and Violations of the Emoluments Clause:
Smirking misappropriation of María Corina Machado’s Nobel Peace prize medal after he’d ordered a US armed invasion of her country to kidnap its head of state.
A Boeing 747 passenger aircraft given by Dubai, for unspecified reasons, not to the United States, but to Donald Trump personally.
Promising a $5,000 Trump Dividend to every adult American provided the Republicans preserved their congressional majorities in the 2026 midterm elections.
Demanding that Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy investigate Hunter Biden while withholding nearly $400 million in military aid to Ukraine. Shortly after Ukraine announced publicly that an investigation would take place, the US government released the $400 million that was being withheld. A post hoc, ergo propter hoc fallacy, or genuine extortion? We report, you decide.
√ Perjury:
In December 2020, he filed a federal lawsuit in Georgia to overturn the presidential election results, personally signing a verification swearing under oath that the voter fraud figures in the complaint were true and correct to the best of his knowledge. A federal judge later concluded that the records demonstrated an effort to press false claims in court, and emails from Trump’s lawyers acknowledged that some of the allegations were inaccurate. Legal analysts have argued that this sworn verification meets the elements of perjury because Trump had been briefed by Department of Justice officials that the claims were false.
√ Vandalism:
White House demolitions, uprootings, tacky remodeling jobs, and fake gold embellishments,
A fatally incompetent renovation of the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool,
The defacing, defunding, and closing of the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts.
A gaudy and hideously expensive gold leafing of the Arts of War and Peace equestrian statues.
The impending construction of an obscenely large and gaudy marble eyesore, to be named the United States Triumphal Arch.
Mortal Doubting
The Atlantic has published a new interview today by David Brooks, entitled Do Human Beings Have Souls? He isn’t asking me (he’s asking Shelly Kagan), but if he were, I’d say some do, some don’t, and with some it’s hard to tell. There’s no doubt in my mind that James Baldwin did, and that Donald Trump doesn’t. Further tests will probably have to be run on David Brooks.
The Hegsething of the Manosphere
A tan suit, yellow shoes, and an American flag pocket hankie? Really? (This is a form of lethality I admit I’m not familiar with, but if it does away with the Tatebros look, the camogimmecap look, and the goatbeard look, I’m all for it.)
Tears in Rain
Show me an arrogant prick, and I’ll show you an ignorant prick, a stupid prick. And when I’m shown the MAGA menagerie in all its pulsating, glittering entirety, I can’t help but notice that they’re all arrogant, ignorant, stupid pricks, even the seemingly endless succession of press Barbies and personal assistants who don’t actually have pricks. Sadly, sackcloth and ashes aren’t working for me anymore, nor rage, nor intricately murderous fantasies, nor appeals to the divinity who, one is told, watches over every sparrow that falls. So tell me, now that we’re ass-deep in dead sparrows, who, if not us, is going to do anything about this pitiful state of affairs…?
Muskery, Muskerei
Turns out Elon Musk has TWO hats:
For visiting Washington, DC:
Trump Was Right About Everything
For visiting Magdeburg, Sachsen-Anhalt:
Hitler hatte in allem Recht
More Accurate Trump Administration Job Titles
MaxiMe: Donald Trump
Toadies-in-Chief: JD Vance, Marco Rubio (NB: In the end, there can be only one)
Secretary of Manly Prancing: Pete Hegseth
Director of National Stupidity: Bill Pulte
Éminence Grise: Stephen Miller
Patient Zero: RFK Jr.
Barely Useful Idiot: Kash Patel
Press Here: Katherine Leavitt
Chief Heddahopperin: Laura Loomer
Not the Wartime Consigliere: Ivanka Trump
Ambassador to the Courts of Lost Causes: Jared Kushner
Cryptonomicanoe and Bagman Too: Elon Musk (ret.)
Vanilla Ice: Markwayne Mullin