Show me an arrogant prick, and I’ll show you an ignorant prick, a stupid prick. And when I’m shown the MAGA menagerie in all its pulsating, glittering entirety, I can’t help but notice that they’re all arrogant, ignorant, stupid pricks, even the seemingly endless succession of press Barbies and personal assistants who don’t actually have pricks. Sadly, sackcloth and ashes aren’t working for me anymore, nor rage, nor intricately murderous fantasies, nor appeals to the divinity who, one is told, watches over every sparrow that falls. So tell me, now that we’re ass-deep in dead sparrows, who, if not us, is going to do anything about this pitiful state of affairs…?
Shame
“A Crock of Schmitt”
Even if they kill me, I’m surely gonna die laughing:
Balogun
Three things need to be said:
- Folarin Balogun wanted to play. He’s devoted his young life to the pursuit of excellence in his sport, and shouldn’t be blamed for the corruption of those who govern the tournaments he and the national team participate in.
- The foul was serious, but did not appear to have been intentional. He probably shouldn’t have been shown a red card. For better or worse, though, the referee is the referee. That should have been the end of it.
- FIFA is, at best, a rickety institution, and Donald Trump could fuck up an anvil. We may not be able to stop him from wrecking things he doesn’t understand, but not even a comic book patriotism requires us to endorse his desecrations.
A Few Mottos for Our Ongoing Trumpification
The United States: E Pluribus Stultitia
The Department of Health and Human Services: Nil satis nisi malum
The Supreme Court: Unequal Injustice Under Law
Harvard: Falsitas
The Emperor of Filth
No, Donald Trump won’t succeed in pulling the temple down on his head when he goes, as Samson supposedly did, but with any luck he will terminally embarrass the priests of American Exceptionalism, who’ve attempted since our founding to ban all history not in service to their myth. If the United States of America has been remarkable for anything, it’s been for its aspirations rather than its achievements, and no one has made that truth more inescapable than Donald Trump, the emperor of all the filth our apologists have tried, since our Constitutional Convention, to sweep under the rug of their self-righteousness.
Days Of Infamy
The only thing that’s saving Trump’s attack on Tehran from more apt comparisons to Pearl Harbor is the observation that the Khamenei regime was an order of magnitude more odious than his own. The fact remains that Trump likes taking things that don’t belong to him or to the United States, including the lives of innocents. He needs to go.